They say when you have a child, your priorities and perspectives change. More recently, especially as the fires in Australia worsened in December, I suddenly felt an extra urgency to figure out what ways I can ensure my child has a livable earth to inherit in the next twenty to thirty years, if even that. And while I always wanted to be a mother, prior to getting pregnant, I was seriously questioning how responsible it was for us to bring a child into this world right now when we aren't doing enough to ensure there will be a world to live in--or at least an earth to live on. And I hate to put it this way, but every extra human we bring into the world is another set of carbon footprints we add to it as well. So, what could I do in my little ways to live more sustainably and protect this earth for my son and future generations?
I was mad at Kobe for a long time, and it wasn't until the shock and pain of his sudden and unexpected loss today that made me realize why. Sure, he was beloved by the world; but for Angelenos like myself, especially those of us who grew up watching him, going to Lakers games at the Staple Center, particularly in the Shaq and Kobe Dream Team days, he was our family. So many of my childhood memories involve nights, days, and Christmases at The Staple Center. Whenever we sat by the Lakers tunnel entrance, we'd lean over the rails trying to high-five the players as the came out of the tunnel or went back in it. And of course, if Kobe high-fived you, it was like getting the golden ticket. There's not a lot I can say that everyone else isn't already saying as we remember our Mamba. He was an inspiration beyond the court. I loved that he also loved football (soccer), and also spoke other languages. When I was in Milan, the only reason I wanted to visit AC Milan's stadium was because I knew he loved the team. His pride in and love for his family was undeniable. So, I just want to say thank you, Kobe, for all the memories, for being part of our family; and thank you to your family for sharing you with us. Praying for all the Bryants, as well as the other families affected by today's tragedy. I also want to extend a hug to my fellow Lakers Nation Angelenos, because I know this cuts deep for all of us.
It still feels unreal.
If my 20's taught me anything, it's that life rarely ever goes as planned or envisioned, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Over the holidays, my husband and I moved in with my parents as we prepare to bring our son into the world, and it's certainly not how I ever envisioned growing my family. However, when we found out we were pregnant, we had a lot of discussions about a lot of things, and eventually moving in with my parents made the most sense, not only financially, but also because of the strong support I will have, not just from my parents but friends in the area. I certainly had my reservations and discussed my concerns with friends and my therapist, and the number one thing everyone told me was to set boundaries. Boundaries, in general, are important in every relationship, but how does one set boundaries in a family that knows no boundaries? Asian families, or at least my Asian family, don't have boundaries!
The most important and powerful statement made at the Golden Globes last night came from Parasite director, Bong Joon Ho. In his thank you speech for Best Foreign Language Film, he started by saying, "Once you overcome the one-inch tall barrier of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films." But the truth of his statement goes beyond the number of amazing films you will be introduced to "once you overcome the one-inch tall barrier subtitles."
The kids I teach in Children's Liturgy oft range in age from about 4 to 10 years old, and they are all full of stories--sometimes on point, sometimes not so on point. This Sunday, two of the boys had the honour of walking up the Advent candles during the welcome procession at mass. So, I asked them about that and asked the other kids if anyone lights advent candles at home. This led one of the kids to tell me about the time someone set his father's church on fire. His dad told him, it's because the man was a Muslim.
When Meghan Markle was pregnant, people gave her a lot of flak for touching her stomach so much. I couldn't figure out at the time if she was holding her stomach more than other pregnant women do, or if they were just picking on her. I mean, the latter definitely, but maybe also the former? Regardless, I now finally understand why she and any other pregnant woman might touch their stomach so much.
For most people, pregnancy is an exciting time. I always thought it would be an exciting time for me, and being a mother is something I have always wanted. But excitement was not my first reaction, and took me getting half way through the pregnancy before I truly felt excited. So, I wanted to share some of my first thoughts, because I know I'm not alone, and I know some women may not feel excited at all during pregnancy. Some may not even feel particularly excited once the baby is born. But that doesn't necessarily mean they love their kid any less or that they're not as good a parent as someone who can't seem to contain their excitement. We have this bad habit as a society to hold certain expectations around pregnancy, especially of women, and shame and guilt them if they fall short of those expectations, which is really unfair. Hopefully, sharing some of my thoughts can help us be more empathetic towards all women going through pregnancy. And hopefully there are also some funny insights.
Yesterday, one of our family's beloved pups went to heaven. He lived a good, long life, and is greatly loved by all of us. He was like the big brother of the puppy pack, and definitely the most well-trained of them all. I've truly never met a dog so well-trained. He was also the first to show me the power of puppy love.
My therapist said to me that for some reason, when women turn 30, we learn to finally listen to our gut. I thought this was interesting, because the proudest I have felt of myself was when I trusted my gut, which led me to protecting and standing up for myself, my values, and my principles. And I had just recently turned 30 when that happened. Recently, I was faced again with a situation that had my gut screaming at me and I knew I should just go with it, but it can be so hard to be sure. I was trying to be logical. So, here's what I've learned about listening to your gut and how to listen to your gut.
I am so grateful that I have been blessed with incredible mentors and bosses throughout my career. Great mentors don't just teach you valuable lessons, but they also help set you up for success. Recently, I was working on a small TV segment for a friend and mentor. It was probably one of the most fun and laid back gigs I've ever done. The showrunner is a friend and mentor of mine, and though I wasn't hired to write per se, he hired me for my sense of comedy writing and sure enough threw some writing opportunities at me. At the end of my stint on this gig, I learned an incredibly valuable lesson that no one has ever said to me before.